He had beautiful eyes. I wished that someday I would get lost in them, but then, in the past, I literally had no idea, that I already was. Since beginning. I was lost in his eyes — the blue sky, the depth of the ocean and the ground far beneath the grass, where worms used to spill the tea together — all those mixed and placed in one iris. I fell for it. I was stupid and I was in love.

He was not a man, who would be good with words. He was not good with words. He was not good with looking at the face, he was not good with kissing, he was not good with thinking about someone, he was an absolutely terrible man to love. 

But who would care if he was good or bad to love? I just… wanted to touch his skin, wanted to have the opportunity to place my arm around his, wanted to say those little, nasty words to him, while looking at the moon on a rainy, summer night and tell the stars about him being as sweet as no one has ever been able to be.

I still remember him the first time he looked at the sea, the waves flowing in sequence, crashing against the rocks and lost in the water. He was amazed at this. If something so normal made him that much impressed, then what would he say if I showed him more? More stunning pictures I have in my mind. All those for him. I painted them, I signed them with all my heart and I gave them to him.

My next picture was the ocean, because when I was thinking about him, I used to thinking about the ocean. Inscrutable, splendid and unpredictable. I still think about him like I am thinking about the ocean. Ocean. Ocean. Ocean. He runs around my head like some annoying fly. I can not kill this fly because it is too elusive.

But when we were standing with our bare feet all in warm sand, letting the wind ruin our hairstyles, letting our hearts beating a little too fast and letting our faces blush too hard… then I was so happy. I was so happy to have him, to be with him, to look at him. The most beautiful man in the world. All over the universe. I was delighted.

He looked at the sun and at the sky getting orange and yellow. I could not tell if he preferred the sea or the ocean. I have thought so much about it. I spend every minute thinking about what he likes more. I wanted him to get the best things for him. Favorite things.

But then he stopped all my thoughts, as if some magic hand had touched my temple and tenderly emptied my whole head, so these anxious sentences flowed out from my right ear. He said "I love sunrises and sunsets." He loves sunrises and sunsets. Not the water I showed him.

"Why?" I asked. I was upset.

"Because …" he turned his back to the sunrise, then looked at the sunset in front of him. I was standing in the middle of it, with yellow and orange on my right and pink with purple on my left. The wind tried to push him off the globe, but I was holding the ribbon tightly. He could not escape. I gave him the sea, rocks and ocean. Now he also had sunrises and sunsets. After all this he could not run away, could he? "Because when the sun rises or sets, everything slows down for a while." He said. "Nothing is real but the colors of the sky. Only the sun that brings life to life. Again. Again. Again. Like this. Like every day." Fortunately, sunrises and sunsets do not live long, so he should be looking at me in a few seconds. I wanted him to look at me, because he was crying. Tears ran down his red cheeks, making a path in his skin. I was angry at the sun, because it made him cry. Not me, but sun. 

"That is right" 

"I do not like the sea anymore, because I got bored by it. I didn't like the ocean for a second, because it was like the sea, but… bigger. That is all. Just bigger. But I like sunrises and sunsets, because they are endless. You can not get bored by the sun. You can not get bored by something you only have for a moment, something that you have to wait for because it is not for you forever. But as I said, it is still endless. I love it. Thank you for sunrises and sunsets." I was upset.

I did not want you to like them more than you like me, so… I thought that I had to kill them.

I was ready to kill the sun for you.

I was ready to kill the sun for myself.

I was ready.

I was.

But when I looked away from you, the wind pushed you off the globe. 

The sun ate my ribbon.

I am upset.

//pierwszy raz spróbowałam moich sil w pisaniu po angielsku tego typu tekstu, wiec prawdopodobnie znajdzie się w nim nieco błędów, przepraszam D: