1.56am

3.30 getting up.
one and a half hours of sleep if i manage to finally somehow fall asleep.

1.34h
not going to manage to fall asleep, am i?

insomnia is such an odd thing…. how does it work?

my burnout is seemingly getting worse.

also, today and tomorrow i won't really be active much; i have lessons from 7 to 3, 9 hours and after returning i will mostly have to get ready for friday, i am having a day long school trip; 5.30am til 8pm i will have it.

hopefully there will be slight accommodations for my issues (mostly talking about physical health.)

i genuinely can barely get off the bed without forcefully almost falling off. i'm too exhausted and in pain.

i don't really understand why it has to be this way but i guess i'll try to push through it.

comparing me to the summer break, i am beyond miserable by now, albeit not being all that good then.

school is draining, loud, bright, overwhelming. too many people, people with no manners, being lonely and exhausting all social battery trying to talk to others.

then come more complicated issues like the kind of people themselves, the teachers and the 'learning'.

i can't count how much school pushed me to my limit and i still had to push myself more.

i wonder when my body, mind or just legs will give up.

ending on a better note, my cat is being very cuddly as of lately. meowing to get my attention, calling for me, purring at me. i know she loves me as much as i love her but at the same time it's a bit new.

does anyone else have a horrible sense of time?

lately i am having more trouble writing and reading and i don't have any disabilities or disorders that would cause it.

goodnight, everyone! and thank you all for 58 follows as well as 9 hearts the most! it really means a lot to me. ♥︎♥︎♥︎