i love accidentally finding new fandoms and consistently being sucked into the games, movies, shows without a possibility of freedom for years.

i have been in one of the fandoms without a chance of escaping for a long time!

speaking of time, it's quite a peculiar thing, isn't it? the more you think about it, the less sense it makes and the more disconnected you feel for the next few minutes.

finding new things, watching content creators. it's temporary and yet is able to bring so much joy or relief. i wonder how it works.

dreading the passage of time is normal, as far as i assume.

work, school and sleep or lack thereof takes about half of our lifetime already.

it's difficult to enjoy and express oneself in such times, yet we have it better than people from hundreds of years ago.

since i was a child, the idea of other people being actually people and not just beings, as difficult as it is to explain, was odd. the thought of others having their own point of view being something else.

because it felt incomprehensible that i see something differently than someone else might. nobody really understood my impressed reaction when i spoke about it and so far the admiration of how complicated and weird it is never stopped.

it's the same as the idea of birth and death. you just don't remember the first years of your life unless something (usually) bad happens. the furthest my memories go is to when i was five or six and even then i blank a lot of my memories, no matter how far in time or how close in time. i tend to forget. but it leaves more space for other things, albeit it being temporary ones.

you don't know when you'll die, you didn't ask to be born… and yet you just suddenly exist. like an apple on a tree. the tree grows it and then it just drops. it suddenly exists.

the world is a strange place and every hour we might have a different perspective, it could even change in seconds, how fun is that?

it's interesting.

a person might see you as crazy, weird or worth locking up if you speak out of line.

with that said, i found a new game. 1.18.10 watch time a day. full length 3.55.30. i have time to enjoy it.

i wonder how much my worldview differs from others.

i have a lot of strong opinions and not many people seem to like that.

well, it's time to go to sleep! 3.10am.

goodnight!