29-8-2011
evaslastresort is online.
Caitlin: Um..hi
evaslastresort: Oh, hiya!
:D How are you doing tonight~?
Caitlin: I am doing fine but..um..have you been talking about me to people?
evaslastresort: o_o Well…I was super excited that I met a really awesome girl, so I told some of my friends.
Caitlin: >.>
You sure they are your friends?
evaslastresort: =( Hm, did somebody contact you and say bad things about me?
Caitlin: Someone called shitface_ did
evaslastresort: D: Well, I wouldn't really think that a person with that kind of username is a very trustworthy person to listen to
Caitlin: They sent me these messages
c-c-check it out :D

http://evaxephon.com/stream/
and
More EvaXephon. He's quite a character.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=reeqnfuCvj0&feature=mfu_in_order&list=UL
evaslastresort: :( Ah, yes. I had a feeling that you might wind up seeing that video. Um…it paints a pretty negative picture of me, but…I think I can clarify things for you.
Caitlin: Okay…Because they told me to google you too
evaslastresort: :( Yeah…I think it's pretty understandable to google someone, actually, so I figured you would do so.
Caitlin: No I never like to do that :o I like to trust people I care about
evaslastresort: :( Would you be willing to listen to be explain the sorts of things you might learn if you google me, or listen to strange people who might contact you?
Caitlin: I will listen to you! :3
evaslastresort: :3 I am so glad
:3 I'm glad you're not a judgemental person who decided to just ditch me at the first sign of a sad history
Caitlin: No but I am a little creeped out from that video…
evaslastresort: Okay, so! Um…let's see…I will be totally and completely and 100% forthright and honest from you, because I have already laid all of my feelings bare on the Internet…
Caitlin: Okay
evaslastresort: :( Everyone has different ways of dealing with stress, right? Like…some people will scream into a pillow, or other people will play Grand Theft Auto and go on a killing spree, and some people actually take out their frustration by being jerks to people.
In my case…whenever I feel down, I vent by writing about my feelings on the Internet.
This was a very bad decision…because it means that I have left a very long and very un-hidden trail of every negative thought or insecurity I have ever had in plain view on the Internet. v_v
So, if you were to Google me or something, you'd see all of the times when I ever felt sad or felt bad about myself or wanted to vent about my problems.
Caitlin: Yea I just did..
sooooo many results o.o
evaslastresort: Now, I understand that nobody likes a Negative Nancy; nobody wants to be around a Debbie Downer. That's why I am usually as positive and cheerful as I can manage to be when I interact with people. :3 Even if I feel sad inside, I don't express that to other people in person, or bring them down if I am not feeling good.
When you read my profile or chatted with me, could you tell that I feel very lonely sometimes? :(
Or did I seem like I was a happy person?
Caitlin: You seemed perfectly normal to me..
evaslastresort: Exactly! :D
If you actually interact with me, you will see that I'm not a big sad sack. ^_^; But if you read any of the message board posts I wrote when I was feeling sad and down, you'd get a different impression.
Caitlin: Yea those youtube videos make it look very strange >.>
evaslastresort: That video…some of those posts are from 6 years ago! ^_^;;;;; It's not only outdated, but a very inaccurate representation of me because those posts ONLY portray me when I was feeling very down.
Caitlin: I know, I saw the dates of some of the posts :3
evaslastresort: It's not a very fair video. :( It's a collection of every pathetic-sounding thing I've ever said…I hope you will excuse this kind of melodramatic phrase, but it's basically propoganda.
it's like, if you mis-quoted Obama, or chopped up his speeches to show ONLY the negative things he has said, then you could have anti-Obama propoganda.
Caitlin: Yea you're right
XD
evaslastresort: But if you actually heard EVERYTHING he said or met the guy in person…
He would not be as bad as an anti-Obama video made him out to be. ^_^
Caitlin: "Go into her at full force"
Sorry, giggling :P
evaslastresort: I was waiting for you to get online because this was the very first thing I wanted to talk to you about. D: I knew that you would wind up seeing that video some day, and I wanted to clarify things myself, before somebody else got to you and started brainwashing you to think terrible things about me.
Caitlin: I am hard to brainwash ^.^
But who is bullying you like this?
evaslastresort: I severely regret posting about all of my insecurities online like that. :( It makes me look so horrible. That's…really not me, at all. When I watched that video, I laughed. Some of that stuff just sounds so silly. I can't even take it seriously, because it doesn't sound like something I would normally say.
Caitlin: Your 'friends' ?…
evaslastresort: No…
I should tell you about something else :O And it's not a bad thing, don't worry
Hold on though, I wanna plug in my laptop
9% battery life. ^_^;
Caitlin: Okies
Eep hurry! o.o
evaslastresort: Alright~!
kay, so. ^_^
In January of 2010, I decided to try out something that I had seen other people do online
Caitlin: oh?
evaslastresort: I decided to broadcast a live video feed of myself playing video games!
I was super surprised…I got 70 viewers! 70 people all watching me and chatting with me and hanging out with me while I played my favorite game!
Caitlin: oh is that the website that guy sent me?
evaslastresort: I later made a website for live-streaming, yes. ^^;
Caitlin: http://evaxephon.com/stream/
That is what they sent me on okcupid
Okies :3
Sorry I'm interrupting, go on ^^;
evaslastresort: ^_^; Sigh, it is so bothersome to me that people are actually contacting you and bothering you with this stuff. I really do not want anyone to give you a hard time.
Well…so, I discovered that it is super fun to stream video games, because I get to chat with a whole audience of people watching me and having fun as I play games
Caitlin: I don't know why they are o.O
evaslastresort: When I was unemployed, I could play games all day. So, I streamed video games pretty much all day long. I became the #1 top-viewed video game streamer on Livestream.com for a brief period! :O
Caitlin: You were popular ^^
evaslastresort: I was kinda successful. >:3 I was well-known on the website! You could say my username, and people would know who you were talking about! I felt so proud of myself for making a name for myself. ^_^
Caitlin: yuh! :3
evaslastresort: But, well…when you interact with 100+ people in a day, you eventually…step on somebody's toes. ._.
Every now and then, I would get a jerk in the chatroom. ._. Somebody who would say awful things.
There were different varieties of jerks…
1. People who openly spoil the ending of the game you are playing, to annoy you and others
2. People who spam the chat room
Caitlin: aww that is mean
evaslastresort: 3. People who insult you "Lol, you suck at this game"
Caitlin: spam the chatroom? ^^;
I don't know what that means
evaslastresort: Oh, like…
SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM
Caitlin: ooh!
Right
evaslastresort: And then they just repeat that over and over
Caitlin: ew
:c
evaslastresort: And then there were also people who would say really really rude crass disgusting things like
"You're a nigger faggot jew shark, kill yourself"
I'd say about 90% of my viewers were nice, but that 10% were totally immature =/
It was okay, though, I would just ban them after one transgression, and then I wouldn't have to see them again.
…but…
The types of people who do rude things like this…
are the types of people who try to get revenge if they are banished for their wrongdoings.
Caitlin: I'm sorry I am a little speechless why people would say stuff like that :c :c
evaslastresort: :c Yeah. It's pretty…ridiculous.
So…
As I became more popular and well-known, I got my traffic. With more traffic came more jerks. With more jerks came more bans. With each ban, there was a chance the banned party would attempt to…retaliate.
The first thing they did was google me, and find out every embarassing thing that I have ever said. v_v
Caitlin: :c
evaslastresort: Then, they spammed this stuff everywhere, to ruin my reputation.
They made videos, and contacted my friends and showed my sad venting posts to them
Every time I make a new friend…
They make sure to "inform" them of every embarassing thing about me.
They don't want me to be happy…
If they learn that I have something good going on for me,
they try to ruin it.
Caitlin: but how do people like that know about me? :/
evaslastresort: If I meet a nice girl? Their first perogative is to contact that girl and show her propoganda to make her think I'm creepy.
Well! My viewers know that I have a history of being lonely.
So, I decided to tell them the good news that I met a really awesome girl and that we had a lot of things in common ^_^
Unfortunately…
One of those jerks was in my chatroom at the time
lying in wait
Caitlin: you told them my name? >.>
evaslastresort: just listening to me
waiting for me to say something that he could use against me
I never even told them your name
I think…
I think that, at one point,
I opened up my internet browser
and it was on your OkCupid page
And I clicked away as fast as I could
But they must have seen your username
So now, they can contact you and say "lololo evaxephon is a nigger faggot who whines about being a virgin lololo"
I hope you don't listen to these guys. v_v
Caitlin: no no I don't listen to people like that!
they asked me to ask you about a girl named 'sisefs' ?
evaslastresort: I am very sad that I can never mention anything nice in my life without one of these people catching wind of it and then trying to ruin whatever makes me happy. v_v
Caitlin: omg now they are saying really bad things O.O
evaslastresort: v_v you are currently being contacted by these people? Like, right at this moment, you're in a conversation with them?
Caitlin: yes he is online on okcupid
evaslastresort: v_v This is pretty sad. I am sad that, if I meet a nice girl, she will be contacted by these jerks.
:( I wish you would just…block them, or something. This is so sad.
Caitlin: okay but who is sisefs? they said you had a child show you….stuff…
that is slander you could call the police :o
evaslastresort: :( Sisefs was a girl who flirted with me online. I flirted with her back. She seemed cool at first, but it turned out that she wasn't cool at all. She did a bunch of bad stuff, like…she lied about her age, and she started a website to give people a place to say bad things about me, and her parents took away her Internet privileges because she was taking nude pictures of herself and sending them out to people.
She sent me her nude pictures (and she sent them to like 100 other people too) and somehow, this means "EvaXephon requests child porn from minors"
I deleted all of her photos as soon as I discovered that she had been lying about her age the whole time
She was not a good person at all, and I am very glad that I don't know her anymore.
I wish that you and I had been able to chat more before you heard about all of this. My history of being picked on by bullies on the Internet is about 1% of my life. The other 99% is really fun and positive.
But you are seeing that unpleasent 1% right now -_-;
Caitlin: yea.. :c I dno't know what to make of things, I blocked them.. but why did you say things on your website where you know the jerks were, silly? ;3
evaslastresort: v_v Well
v_v Because I know that there are "spies" who spend all day hanging out on my website just waiting for me to say something that they can use as ammunition against me
(god ,that is so pathetic of them…)
I almost NEVER talk about personal matters
But, for this one time, for this ONE occasion…
I wanted to tell my viewers how cool you are.
Because you are so super cool. D:
So I broke my rule of "Never mention personal things!"
And I told them, "I met an awesome wonderful amazing girl on OkCupid <3"
Caitlin: ^^;
evaslastresort: And then they must have seen your username when my Internet window appeared onscreen
And so they decided to send you nasty things about me
Sigh. v_v
Caitlin…if I spoke to people that bullied you in highschool…
What would they say about you?
Would they describe you in pleasant ways?
Caitlin: mean things :c don't talk to them :o
evaslastresort: Would they say nice things about you/
Exactly! :O
Caitlin: no they tripped me and called me a bitch :c
i'm sorry i am asking so many questions
i am just confused
evaslastresort: You see, if you listen to words from the crowd of people that doesn't like me, you will hear all sorts of nasty stuff about me that does not even apply. Slander, or outright fabrications.
Caitlin: :ccccc
i'm almost crying D:
evaslastresort: :c I wish they had not contacted you and confused you…
D:!!!!!!!!
T_T Oh nooooo
T_T Please, I don't want to be responsible for making a girl cry…
Caitlin: it's okay it's not you just the whole situation and now i am reminded of my highschool bullies :c
evaslastresort: I banned these people because they basically ARE highschool bullies -_-; I banned them because they are the types of jerks who would actually go out of their way to try and ruin another person's life.
I try to be positive and say only positive things…and I try never to badmouth others, but…
…These people really are scum.
They're no different than people who tripped you and picked on you in highschool. In my case, instead of tripping me, they make nasty videos about me.
So…please, don't listen to them. They are just bullies.
Caitlin: I won't Alex <3 I can never stand bullies and I think you are a very sweet boy
man, even
evaslastresort: ^_^ yay!
Caitlin: :3
evaslastresort: I always wondered, "What if I met a girl, and we got along, and then she learned everything embarassing about me? Would she still want to keep talking with me?"
I was very very afraid to learn the answer D:
But…it looks like I met a girl who is very understanding, and is not easily tricked by Internet jerks. ^_^
Caitlin: I haven't even read most stuff, I am talking to you right now and you are very sweet, I do not have to drag up things from years and years ago :333
evaslastresort: I appreciate your personality very much right now <3 I am glad you are the type of person who you are!
Caitlin: likewise! <3
evaslastresort: ^_____^
You are really special. ^_^
=D So! Is there anything else you would like me to explain, or have I cleared everything up? I would really like to put this behind us, because I enjoy positive things and I avoid negative subjects if possible…
:3 I want you to have fun when you talk with me.
Caitlin: me too! :3 so how was your day? ^^
evaslastresort: It was good. ^_^ I beat the game that I have been playing all week, and then I played an online remake of one of my favorite games from my college years, and then I played Minecraft, and then I got to chat with you, so I am very happy. ^o^
The whole day, I felt a little worried and nervous because I was afraid that I'd never speak to you again, if you were contacted by one of those jerks and decided to just avoid me forever. :<
So I am really really relieved that you let me clear things up. ^_^
^_^ How was your day~? And did you have fun with your sister?
Caitlin: yes I had fun with my sister, I stayed over :3 we baked scones!
evaslastresort: Scones, huh?! ^_^ Awesooooom!
Caitlin: what game did you finish?
evaslastresort: It was called Deus Ex: Human Revolution
If I had to compare it to another game, I'd say that it's a Sci-Fi Elder Scrolls Oblivion.
Caitlin: ooh I read that was a good game! but isn't it a shooting game?
evaslastresort: Actually! owo
Caitlin: it did not look like oblivion to me from the pictures I saw ^^;
evaslastresort: =D Whenever you have a problem, you can solve it many ways. You don't neccesarily HAVE to shoot anyone. In fact, it is actually possible to beat the entire game without firing a single bullet.
Caitlin: and you beat it! was it hard? :3
evaslastresort: If you need to get past a guard, you could…knock him out with a punch, or make a sound to draw his attention elsewhere, or go up to him and bribe him, or intimidat ehim, or use cunning to trick him into thinking that you have clearance to go through the area, or drop a box on him, or lead him into an elevator shaft and drop an elevator on him, or go through a ventilation shaft to get around him, or hack a panel to open a door to use a different route so you can avoid him altogether, or activate cloaking and sneak past him while invisible
……….or shoot him.
I played through the game and didn't kill a single person! I am tired of playing shooting games where you solve all of your problems with bullets. -_- So, in Deus Ex, I solved all of my problems with words or cunning schemes.
Oh, you could also hack a robot and make the robot go kill him for you…XD
But anyway!
It was kind of hard at certain points, where you have to be reeeeeeally clever to sneak past the enemies
Caitlin: you're clerver then! if you finished it with out even firing a shot, I am proud of you *\ ^.^ /*
evaslastresort: Beams proudly Aw, shucks! You're so sweet. <3
I say that it's like Oblivion because it's first-person, full of side-quests, lets you customize your character, has a really long storyline, and lets you tackle problems anyway you like, whether it's by stealth or by direct combat or just persuasion or bribing. It's a fantastic game. :D
Caitlin: I should play it then ^^; is it on the wii?
or on the xbox?
evaslastresort: Xbox, PS3, and PC!
Are you mainly a PC or console gamer, I wonder~?
Caitlin: pc but I di not play many videogames, I like to play them wíth people but I have nobody to play them with :c
I am going to buy the sims 3 though because you said it was good! ^^
evaslastresort: Nobody to play games with?! I am sorry to hear that :( Well, I would gladly be your video game partner anytime. <3
Caitlin: yay!!! but I won't go easy on you >:3
evaslastresort: >w> I had a plan. If you and I ever met up in person, I was going to surprise you by handing you a copy of Sims 3 so you could play it. But, if you are going to buy the game yourself, now I need to think up another gift for you!
Caitlin: ^^; how about you with only a ribbon tied around you? ^^;
evaslastresort: Gulp D-did I accidently say something creepy? I'm s-sorry >_<
…………o/////o
…I…that can…be arranged <3
Caitlin: omg I am blushing so hard sorry ignore me
evaslastresort: :3 Nope. You can say things like that all you want. <3
Caitlin: ^^;
evaslastresort: Teehee >w< You are very fun to talk with~!
Caitlin: I'm glad! ;3
evaslastresort: I am curious, what kinds of other things do you like to do for fun besides video games? Of course, it's not a big deal if video games are your main hobby. ^_^ I know how that is~
Caitlin: well I like to just browse the internet and I read and I listen to music and sometimes I dress up because it makes me feel sexy >.>
evaslastresort: blush
Do you often leave the house? o///o
=O I am not implying that you sound like a shut-in!
I am just curious…do you dress up so that you can feel sexy about yourself, or to get attention from guys when you go out?
Caitlin: I don't usually do :/
no I don't go out like that!!!
I'm be sooo embarassed
evaslastresort: I see. >w<
…I wonder how you dress up when you want to feel sexy…>.>
Caitlin: just in normal clothes, punky stuff, but with hotpants >.>
I can show you a picture >.> <.<
if you want
evaslastresort: …punky…hotpants…
I would be happy to see a picture <3
Caitlin: okay hang on I have one
You are sharing a picture (46.0 KB) with evaslastresort
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You withdrew the offer
Caitlin: omg it posts it super big o.o I'm embarased now
evaslastresort: …Oh my goodness. ;-; You're…breathtaking.
Caitlin: >.>
evaslastresort: H-hey! >_< I didn't get to save it~
Caitlin: sorry im too shy
evaslastresort: D'aw…
Caitlin: well…okay…
You are sharing a picture (46.0 KB) with evaslastresort
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Caitlin: ^^;
evaslastresort: Well, I happen to believe that you are a goddess of beauty, so feel confident about yourself. :D You're gorgeous.
Caitlin: I'm blushing so much right now >.>
how do you look?
when you are being sexy I mean, ^^:
evaslastresort: o_o Well, you have seen my OkCupid, right?
…I…I…
Caitlin: sorry! I don't want to make you uncomfortable
did you save it?
evaslastresort: …Yes. <3
Caitlin: I can cancel it I feel shy looking at the picture
evaslastresort: Sure.
Caitlin: oh wait it doesn't go away >.<
evaslastresort: …>_>; Okay, so, I always try to be positive, and I always try to look on the bright side of things. But…well…
…>_>; Okay, so, I know that nobody wants to hear someone whine about his insecurities. So, I never do that. …But…well…
…>_>; Okay, so, I try to never ever ever be a negative nancy, because I know that absolutely nobody wants to listen to a debbie downer. ….but…well…
if you will permit me to say just one negative thing…
…I…I don't…I don't believe that I am sexy. D:
Caitlin: :c